Cast Up A Highway



My Wondering Heart Exposed

Posted on April 6, 2018 at 6:45 PM

Rugged Rocky Mountains border the west side of Denver. I love their everchanging moods as the light and clouds define them. But their ruggedness is not only beautiful to look at, but they also have value in locating directions as I drive. If I get into strange territory, I can always tell what direction I need to go by looking at the mountains. It’s a beautiful thing! Yes, until. . . the sun goes down, it gets foggy, or rain eliminates vision of the mountains. Then if I am not in an area of familiarity, I can get totally turned around and sometimes lost.

This situation can occur in our spiritual life as well. We have the Word of God as our direction finder (our mountains). So long as we keep our focus locked there, we always have our guide and know where we are. The enemy watches for any distraction, any lie he can implant, any small negatives that happens, so he can exploit them and turn them into a rainstorm, foggy thinking, or darkness of discouragement or hopelessness. It causes a loss of focus on the Word, and we can become disoriented. How do I know? Yeah. I speak from experience.

Recently. . .

Yes, recently, I got lost in a spiritual fog, but God is faithful. Here’s what my journal recorded:

Lord, my God, You know my heart and my soul. They have been upside down. What is attacking me Lord? Am I attacking myself? I’ve been calling it a spirit of discouragement, or even at times despondency [melancholy, disheartenment, hopelessness, low spirits, gloom, desolation, disappointment, dejection, sadness]. These are not worthy of a child of the most High God. So, Father, help me see the source and return to Your joy. I bow before You. You’ve been telling me to read Cast Up A Highway. I begin reading in 'Pilings of Faith' (Chapter 4)

Faith Definition #1 Hebrews 13:7 . . . leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power wisdom and goodness. So, am I leaning my entire personality on God?

Personality: the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character

I feel my personality changing into more reserved rather than out going, insecure rather than confident. Why Lord? Am I leaning my entire PERSONALITY on You, God?

Personality: character, nature, disposition, temperament, makeup, persona, psyche, charisma, magnetism, strength/force of personality, character, charm, presence.

Who am I? My God, who did You create me to be? What is my purpose? At this age, I still ask? Even though I know in my brain that my strength / force of personality is You Holy Spirit ~ You live Your life in me, and then strength and forcefulness emerges. [The fog is beginning to clear]

'Leaning my entire personality on God'; my character, nature, disposition, persona, presence must be leaned on You. . . must be enveloped in You, Lord. On my own it is subject to the enemy’s attacks as above. The enemy attacks my emotions, but I SAY, " I do not live by my feelings, but by the Word of God."

Colossans 2:7 says the “roots of my being” . . . the heart of who I am. . .  my very personality

must be firmly and deeply planted in the Word of God. If the strength / force of my personality is deeply planted in Your Word (in Your Son Jesus), then it draws its nourishment, its very life from You Jesus, and from the Word. Jesus, I want Your personality for myself; You live in me, indwell me, live through me. Why not, Lord?

The end of the verse talks about thanksgiving. How thankful have I been? Not very. Have not “thought” thankful, not spoken thankful, not “felt” thankful. Jesus, I repent of my selfishness, thinking only of me, focusing inward on me. What a mess I am. Help me Jesus. Help me, indwelling Holy Spirit, to be who You want me to be: thankful for all the many blessings You have put in my life, responding to Your call to love others as You love me, following Your light on the path You have put me on, and having faith You are taking me somewhere.

AHA! The fog lifts: Because I cannot see the end of the path ~ where it is going ~ and because of enemy lies, I misplaced my trust that You are the light on the path, and there really is a path I am on, and it is Your path; yes, because of my lack of faith, the enemy has been able to plant subtle lies in my head!


Truth is: You have put me on a path, and it is guiding me to fulfill Your purpose in my life. I choose to return to trusting You, my Father. I give every day to You asking Your light to shine on my path. Your plan for my life is a good one and I trust You in this Word (Jeremiah 29:11); You're leading me; I shall follow You. Holy Spirit, thank You for guiding me on this journey this morning. The Son shines through the fog!

The Word shows what happened:

Hebrews 3:12-14(MSG)   

So watch your step, friends. Make sure there's no evil unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God. . . Sorry Lord. I'll be stronger next time!


Categories: Purpose

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                                        AWESOME GOD


Sometimes the terrible awesomeness of God hits me and sends me reeling into deep meditation. It always carries its reward of a new closeness with my God. It happened this morning. In the beginning I was distracted with my mind wandering here and yon. Then I ‘woke up’ and commanded it to return. God is so good! Holy Spirit began to lead me in prayer.

Sorry, my Lord. I come to our meeting this morning with scattered thoughts; help me, Lord, to rein them in. That You even desire to meet with me is so amazing! Deep breath. Moses asked God, “what shall I say when they ask 'Who sent me’?” You responded, “Say the Great I AM sent me.” You, God, are not hemmed in by time. For You there is no ‘was, will be’, there is only I AM. Before You I bow down my heart, my 'who I am' I submit to You; help me become who You created me to be.

Exodus 3:13-14 (AMP)

13 And Moses said to God, Behold, when I come to the Israelites and say to them, The God of your fathers has sent me to you, and they say to me, What is His name? What shall I say to them? 14 And God said to Moses, I Am Who I Am and What I Am, and I Will Be What I Will Be; and He said, You shall say this to the Israelites: I Am has sent me to you!

  • Footnotes: Exodus 3:15 To know the name of God is to witness the manifestation of those attributes and apprehend that character which the name denotes.

Can you feel the depth of that name? 'I AM' signifies so much ~ timelessness, absolute love, supreme power, unimaginable expansion ~ an incomprehensible being, totally surrounding. There simply are not words to express the grandness of Who our God is. HIS LOVE FOR US  S SO APPARENT IN HIS WORD!

Psalm 91:14 (AMP)

Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness—trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].

Isaiah 52:6 (AMP)

Therefore My people shall know what My name is and what it means; therefore they shall know in that day that I am He who speaks; behold, I Am!

Indeed my God! You are the great I AM! This measures so deep and so high and so wide. You revealed Your staggering magnificence to David, and it comes out here:

Psalm 139:1-10

O Lord, you have examined my heart

and know everything about me.

2 You know when I sit down or stand up.

You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.

Even when it’s my mind traveling on tangents.

3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.

You know everything I do.

4 You know what I am going to say

even before I say it, Lord.

5 You go before me and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on my head.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too great for me to understand!

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!

I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;

if I go down to the grave, you are there.

9 If I ride the wings of the morning,

if I dwell by the farthest oceans,

10 even there your hand will guide me,

and your strength will support me.

You are always with me. 

You will guide me.

You will always be my support. Your strength

upholds me, protects me, supports me.

Lord, You are so good! What a privilege to know You! Thank You that You continue to grow me closer to You. Thank You! I love being together with You, my Lord.