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Dumptruck Full of Junk

I realize there is a spirit of gloom trying to invade me and with some success. I wanted to discover what was going on, so I asked Holy Spirit for enlightenment. He took me to a commentary by Charles Spurgeon:

"Mark the grand characteristic of true prayer, “In the Holy Spirit." Only the prayer which comes from God can go to God. We must shoot the Lord's arrows back to Him. That desire which He writes upon our heart will move His heart and bring down a blessing".

Perhaps that is what has been putting a Linus cloud over my head~ I’m not hearing Your desires, Lord. Also intertwined is purpose, purpose for my life. I’ve been fighting off attacks of despondency, and that’s not like me to be vulnerable to them. Holy Spirit please enlighten me. I’ve lost hope~when did that happen? Feels like my wagon’s been overturned. Help me Holy Spirit to right it securely again please:

Mary, where is your passion? Where is your fire?
I don’t know Lord. It feels like it’s been extinguished.
Yes, Mary, you’ve been allowing the things of the world to crash into your mind and your heart. They feed you negative self talk about who you are and your self worth. You have not been focusing on Me, so they are able to put out your fire. How do I define you Mary? What mission have I given you?

You call me your beloved daughter. You gave me a mission to blog to carry your Gospel around the world. You do with the blogs as You will putting the focus and power in them. You help me write them. But Holy Spirit, I feel like they have lost power~ it’s because I have written them without Your input? When the numbers go down I get discouraged. Holy Spirit guide me.

Mary, stop trying to DO and let Me. You do not need to rely just on yourself; rather rely on ME. Put yourself in MY care; rest in Me. And do not look to the world for your encouragement.
Philippians 1:6 AMP 
And I am convinced and sure of this very thing,
that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

Thank You for Your Word Lord! 
And the business Lord?
It is the same. Trust in ME.

Ok Lord, This dump truck load of negative refuge burdening my shoulders, I dump into hell. I cast it off and don the robe of righteousness My Jesus died to give me. This is who I am, a servant of righteousness following You.

Thank You Holy Spirit! I can smile again!

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