Sometimes when awakening, it feels like my emotions are in charge. That is usually not a good thing; because of dreams or mood chemicals outa balance, or something that happened the day before, or whatever, there is a sadness, a dissatisfaction, a sore on my soul.
It is then that all my vulnerable places are magnified. It happened this morning as I came down to a sink full of dirty dishes. The dirty dishes in my insecure mind became questions polluting my thoughts like~ how do others view me? Where do I measure on the value scale with them? Does my age devalue me?
Sometimes Lord, I do get depressed when I think about these things. At church you use me to help some people. Then my spirit takes me to the true question in my mind: OK it’s You~ how do You see me God? What is my value in Your eyes? You answer, “Mary, I sent my Son to die for you. How much more value do you want?” Ouch. Oh God I feel so stupid. Just want to sit in a back corner on the floor; be in Your presence, but not in Your way.
Truth blooms in my thoughts revealing that my need is to have You, Lord, look in my eyes and speak to me, as an individual, not as part of humanity. Then Holy Spirit, you bring to mind a Scripture You gave to me, personally, when I was diagnosed with cancer~
Isaiah 43:1-3 (AMP). . . I have called you by your name, Mary; you are Mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you,
and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched,
nor will the flame kindle upon you.
I love you my daughter. I take care of you. You are precious to me.
Realization hits: me Mary, I am truly precious to my Father. He has a purpose for my life. As Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. And in my spirit He speaks, “Yes, Mary, I have a purpose and plans for these latter years of your life. I know your needs. Trust Me and My love for you.”
Now He has pulled me out of the pit and set me on a Rock~ who is Jesus!! Now my eyes are opened and I can see the enemy has manipulated my emotions again to try and get me into the pit and glue me there. BUT JESUS, MY ROCK!
Colossians 1:13-14 (MSG)
God rescued us from dead-end alleys
and dark dungeons.
He’s set us up in the kingdom of the Son
He loves so much,
the Son who got us out of the pit we were in,
got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.
Yes, that devil is trying harder and harder to seduce our emotions, because he can manipulate them. Thank You Lord for giving me a hand out of that pit of depression this morning! You are so good!
My friends, is the enemy trying to capture you by dragging your emotions into some dark pit? Your help is in the Word. Go to your journal and find the places God put His loving hand on you, spoke His wisdom to you, protected you, assured you with His peace. The book Cast Up A Highway has help in beginning a journal if you've never tried it. Blessings!