Lift me up Holy One. My soul is burdened by self doubt this morning. This did not use to be a problem. Guess for now I just must depend on You for everything. Is this perhaps where You want me to be? Speak to me my Lord.
Head bowed not far from tears I walk the path. The sky is weeping with me and yet my feet continue taking steps up the path. Pine trees scent the air; rain is steady without a change of rhythm. I balance between hope and hopeless, and keep trudging as the climb grows steeper and rocks become boulders. Vegetation lessens as the trail ascends; I lift eyes to see past my rain-hood. Instead of being enclosed, the sky seems to open up. . . to what? It’s hidden by the rain.
I retreat into a shallow cave carved into the rock. Rain continues its steady beat. Feeling somewhat soggy, I recline against the back rock; my ears open, for I have nothing to say except, "Lord, I am here and listening. You are the only One with answers I need. Jesus, thank You for coming."
My Lord asks,“What do you see Mary?” Rain. Just rain pouring down.
“Look beyond the rain; what is there?” “I can’t see anything beyond the rain Lord”.
“What prevents you from seeing?” “Hopelessness holds back my vision. Unfulfilled dreams holds back my seeing. Disappointment shields my view.”
“Now you reach truth my child. You were willing to trust in Me then; what has happened to break that trust?” The possible offer to have a dream realized. . . and there is no reason to choose me now.
“Mary, what can't I do? Is anything impossible for Me? If it is My will for your life and My plan, will I not make it possible? And if it is not my will, would you want it anyway? “No, Jesus, You know I would not want it. I trust Your love for me; if it is for my good and Your will, it will happen. If not, then it’s OK. Thank You Jesus for helping me work that out!”
Light slowly begins to penetrate the cave as raindrops ease their race; in-between each drop begins to blossom a view of new hope. Several mountain tops reveal their rugged crowns, and to my mind they speak newness~ goals and dreams. Shuck off the heavy burdens strapped to my back. Offer to trade with Jesus~ He who 'sits here' smiling at me.
Psalm 55:22 (AMP)
Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it]
and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the [consistently] righteous
to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail)
Matthew 11:28-30 (AMP)
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden
and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest.
[I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me,
for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart,
and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment
and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.
30 For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.
I accept the trade Jesus! You can have my disappointment and discouragement. I will take trust in You instead.
Do you sometimes find an unfulfilled dream pops up to try and ruin your peace? What do you do?