Lord, You are high and lifted up, and because You are, some take that as an excuse to deny Your existence~ their senses can’t see or hear or feel You; once I came close to that. It was a money issue for me, and I know it’s why God expects a tithe from us~ money has a way governing our lives if we allow it. At that time it seemed like none of His promises were true. I was frustrated and angry and fearful. I cried bitter tears of despair.
Looking back I realize I was depending on my own ability and that of the world, and I did not trustingly bow down to You, my Lord. When I came to the end of myself, my question was “God are You even real?” As my question sunk into my spirit, I knew the answer and said, “if You are not real, then living makes no sense”, and at that point, I spoke out, “I do believe in You. No matter what, I believe.”
Immediately a peace filled me. And an idea sprang up (from God) on how to earn extra income. Joy filled my spirit. My husband had seen my mood swing suddenly from tears of despair to smiles and ‘to do’ mode. He was astonished until I told him what God had done; then he joined in my plans.
It was a test that began my steady climb to greater faith. I recall a later time when business was abnormally slow, and the last straw, a cancellation, came, and again I cried hot tears. That night on my way to church for a service, I demanded, “Lord, You better do something for me tonight!” That night I got a very special word from Him, and it brought great excitement to my heart.
These are just two memories of tests You gave me Lord, and one thing they emphasize in my spirit is that You are always faithful! I just need to hang on and trust You. Tests come. All kinds of tests, but when I am obedient to You, things work out for my good and wonders happen.
In school tests come before advancement to see if we are ready to pass on to the next level. When I realize God does the same thing, tests bring excitement to my spirit!