Soft mist almost rain gently bringing moisture to the new born leaves. Grey clouds release their tiny droplets of refreshment and plants of all types soak in Your love. Green of life covers the grounds all around.
It is the rain that nourishes life. Rain brings forth May flowers. Today as the early morning mists begin to lift, and the sun arrives, my heart jumps in delight. See its May first, and I love May! It is a lovely month ~ a mixture of Spring and Summer. Fresh green leaves against a blue sky speak of peace. Roses come into their own blooming in gorgeous colors and filling the air with their sweet perfume. Life itself seems to freshen up in May. Warmth of sunshine as I walk not yet caught up in the heat of summer. . . Yes, but
thoughts of May contrast harshly with many parts of life.
Life is not always May beauty. I remember trying to live right, but temptation was around the next corner. Sin was considered a real thing in my years growing up, and it was to be avoided. As time passed, the enemy has worked hard to mitigate that concept, until today sin is a concept to be sneered at and thought of as an individual’s right to choose their own version of right and wrong.
Sliding into adulthood spread its responsibility like a cloak upon my life; it became necessary to learn that my independent spirit accompanied with stubbornness needed to be adjusted.
By now my relationship with God was still alive within my spirit. I went to church on Sundays. When frustrated, I prayed. But my relationship was not a god-cemented desire to live a life that pleased Him. Rather I lived my life my way taking Him into consideration, sometimes. I followed the 10 commandments, sort of, when I could not reason my way out of it. I had a confused truth standard.
Yet, inside my spirit there always seemed to be a restlessness, a desire for something more.
My independent spirit was proud of my intelligence and if my way was not strictly according to God’s way, well God gave me a brain to figure things out on my own, didn’t He? Amazing how the enemy can deceive us!
Still there existed that hunger in me for something more. There was a hole deep
in my spirit that was crying to be filled. . . just did not know at this point what
needed to fill it. . .